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    spontaneous applause.
    Layout: materialisti-c

    Friday, March 30, 2007
    Title : A girl and her wall
    Time : 3:53 pm

    Earworm: Forgiven not Forgotten~~ The Corrs

    She admired the colourful splashings on the wall. A kaleidoscope of imagery. She felt the smooth texture of the wall and ran alongside it, coming to a space in the wall. Inside stood two trees, reaching out to another, bridging the gap between them with a small canopy. The grass around them was velvet green, cool to the touch. It was a simple garden, but more importantly, it was her secret garden. Desolate and unknown.
    Day after day, she visited her private sphere. Adding bits of herself to it. She fashioned a hammock from a piece of her oversized nightdress. She sowed some seeds and watched tiny flowers spring up from the earth.
    After a long while, she began to notice some spidery cracks in the wall, and its vibrant hues were fading. Another day, she thought, she will repair the damage. For the meantime, she snoozed in the comfort of her hammock.
    The unrelenting sun continued to beat down on the wall, a pale shade of its former colour now, but she was nestled comforably under the welcoming shade of the two trees.
    Then one day not unlike the others, she made her journey to her garden behind the wall again. But to her shock there stood a whitewashed wall, almost unrecognisable to her. Yet its cracks were still visible under the fresh paint. A heavy iron door blocked the entrance to her favourite garden. And she couldn't her beloved trees beyond the high wall.
    She knocked several times. It echoed hollowly back to her. What used to be comfortably desolate became achingly vacant.
    Pushing against the door in vain, she tried to catch a glimpse of what has been transformed. The door was grimly unmoved.
    She looked around her. And sat down on a shaded patch of grass.
    Thursday, March 29, 2007
    Title : ----
    Time : 9:57 pm

    SORRY seems to be the HARDEST word
    Wednesday, March 28, 2007
    Title : Of Dinner and Dance (minus the dance)
    Time : 7:24 pm

    Earworm: Pop Goes My Heart~~Hugh Grant

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucketat Hilltop Garden Crystal Ballroom

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    I finally learnt to put on eyeliner!

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    6 (act) cute girls who know their numbers!

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Terence trying to be James Bond
    our table was quite lucky, with 3 out 10 people winning lucky draws. Jeyyee won some NTUC thing, Nith got a coffeemaker AND Supporter of the Year, Flora got a DVD player!!

    Blk A theme: Shanghai Noon/Wild Wild West

    Buncha crossdressers!!

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Bona-san was a hit with everyone

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    Nigel aka Shakira. Hips don't lie!

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    Haojie aka Dutch Lady. OMG!

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    more block A weirdos... Hardogay???

    Blk B theme: Retro
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Captain of the Year in leather

    Blk C theme: Corpse Bride/Gothic
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Tat--ooh scary!

    Blk D theme: Pirates of the Carribean
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Yee mun so cute with her hook fashioned from a hanger

    Blk E theme: Shrek/Fairytales
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    cute right? Mr and Mrs SHrek =p

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Brit the magician

    COOL JCRC members
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Ian damn cool

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    Abhi matrix style

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Congrats Ms Sheares!Butt, boobs and brains

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    oh doesnt this look like an old photo of a happy couple?

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    I love this photo. guess who's imaginative idea it is? =p

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    me. so sweet and innocent with the balloons rite

    overall DND (should be called dinner only coz there was NO dancing. except for the crossdressers.. lol) was ok, except no performances, band anyone? and dinner portion was kinda small altho it was nine course. check out http://www.sheares.nus.edu.sg/photo/main.php?g2_itemId=97596 for my photos =)
    so we went to Holland V for makan. i wonder why everything was closing by the time we reach? 2am on a friday nite.. and wala's was packing up! so we ended up in Breko
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    my darling joined us for supper.

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Jason is very happy to see his food

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    sexy poses with food- the peach crepe wasnt all that nice anyway

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    more food photowhoring

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Lh with the guy called Wendy

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    i think sandra(leftmost) looks effortlessly sexy in this shot somehow.. lol

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    the rest of the gang

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Cheers! No alcohol after 1am

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    i love this shot by Yen. LH says money spoils every picture though.
    Thursday, March 22, 2007
    Title : Happy Birthday Yen!
    Time : 11:38 pm

    Earworm: Dance songs

    On Tuesday, Niths and I went all the way to Far East to look for Yen presents. We already decided to get her shoes. The only thing is to find the right one! There were so many adorable polka dot ones.. but i suppose their usability is rather low.. haha.. and the nice ones are such high stilettos! Didn't tempt myself with buying shoes by not bothering to try them on hehe.. Niths bought herself one though. Bought Yen a red pearls necklace also. And accessories for ourselves. White hairband and silver disco-like bangle cost me $8.90 though.. thinking back it's not very worth it =/
    Our plan was to present her with crappy gifts like the boyshorts we bought also and cheesy fries instead of cake. And a A4 card with hastily signed wishes. She looked OK when it was only me, dina and sandra 'celebrating' for her. Nith was at PGP celebrating her other friend's bday. Really! Then the catch was, March 21 is also Flora's bday. And she just stays down the corridor. At about 124oam some block ppl, me and sandra included, sang happy birthday for her, but didn't for Yen. Then she wished Flora quietly and went back to her room.
    And left Sandra and me feeling soooooo guiiiilllltttyyyy!!!! We dunno how far to take our plan but anyhow all the gifts are with Nith! So we went to Dina's room. and to divert our attention she put on her full dress with accessories. haha so excited la she.. Then when Nith came back it was quite late and we dunno discuss for how long but I was so sleepy and by the time I went back to my room to bathe it was 4am? Sleep deprived for the whole of next day's lecture and tutorial, especially when it the morning we originally planned to give her the presents and it was locked in Dina's room this time!!! Made me feel even guiltier when Yen didn't come down for breakfast and it was her fave macaroni day.
    Whatever it is, even when we wanted to trick her to come up to the lounge where the cake was, she didn't want to come. She didn't go for dinner either. So what did she expect us to think???? Worry so much la.... And she kept denying she was upset by us.. Dunno what else she upset with.. a test she didnt study for?? I gtg quiz her hahaha. Anyway the fruity cake was niiiice.. NUH has Bengawan Solo, u guys know that? Amazing discovery.
    So it seems that all is fine. whew. and if she still insists that she wasn't upset by us, im so gonna kill her for making me sleep deprived for nothing.

    Today after tutorial discussion we went to this horrid cafe outside Med library to eat. I say horrid coz last time service was bad, and it was pricey with substandard food. But today too hungry la, desperate times. So there i was, ordering a potato salad and oreo cheesecake. then after preparing the potato salad, the malay lady sprinkled DISGUSTING PARMESAN CHEESE
    all over my salad! I was like I DON'T WANT CHEESE! (said too late) and she said why didn't say so earlier, but what the hell, who puts cheese on potato salad??? and before that she asked me first if i wanted pepper. then she just sprinkled cheese liberally? and she scooped it from a box labelled 'Mayo' for goodness sake. How was I supposed to know it was cheese. She wanted to me to accept it and I just blurted 'I can't eat cheese' later realising how contradicting it was since i ordered oreo cheesecake. To those who know me well, parmesan cheese smells like vomit to me. Mozarella is still fine on pizza and spaghetti, and cheesecake of course (tho i was rather sick from finishing the whole slice)

    In the end, after my fit, i was given a new salad, thank goodness, but the lady was damn unpleasant about it, she was the same server as last time, the one with the attitude problem. pooi!
    Gah, i wonder why food makes me throw tantrums. Remember last time when i blogged about the 2 hour delay of Mcdonald's. Seemingly trivial especially since I sometimes think eating is a chore. haha.


    In the evening, 610pm I got to the dance studio, like only me and nigel and tat inside. Pathetic! Hardly anyone bothers to be early. And the energy is just not there anymore, for me at least. i gotta push it out for sunday! But then again, just thinking of saturday 5pm-11pm and Sunday 2 full runs from 9am and finally Dance Uncensored starting at 730pm, is just exhausting. My weekend is being eaten up!

    Dance full run at KR, other halls' performances are damn long, i think at least 5 mins. And SH is like less than 3mins... for only 2 performance. RH holds the longest run.. like 20 mins?? felt like an hour! appparently it's 4 dances originally, now combined into one long drawn out part. I liked TH guys and one of the KR contemporary dances. KR takes the cake for most performances. duh- they're organising. They have quite a few contemporary pieces, including one with two girls in the nude! hahaha.. go see for yourself =p they also have slutty dance at the beginning, some of the girls are so bloody skinny. Opening and ending, at least they have a grand finale.

    Yay, I finished my sociology essay!
    Tuesday, March 20, 2007
    Title : Unleash the shopaholic
    Time : 10:38 am

    Earworm: One Moment In Time~~ Whitney Houston

    Dinner and Dance: Another excuse to blow loads of cash
    Hall theme: SHollywood
    Block theme: Retro
    Price of ticket: Fifty freaking bucks!
    Need: Dress, Accessories, Shoes!!

    But of course, the ever resourceful one has means to cut costs
    After pakating with Nithiya to be photographers on shift- meaning we get to enjoy DnD as well as shoot the lovely dressed up camwhores- the bait is free ticket for a full-time photographer.
    Price of ticket: $25 =)
    On Thursday Yen and I went Bugis to shop. Having traipsed thru the maze that is Bugis St last week, I suggested walking down the road to This Fashion. 20% discount wei~
    And there are tons of retro dresses to be tried! I wanted my table theme to be polka dots-since its making a comeback so i might as well get something rewearable.
    We took in like 3-4 dresses each and exchanged dresses when we're done trying. And we went in and out of dressing rooms for 4 times?? I probably tried on 20 dresses! And I narrowed my choices down to 2! let me reiterate: 20% discount!!!

    So in the end i got a sweet cream babydoll with small black polka dots and a white dress with red and white polka dotted brooch and belt. The latter is for versatility! And I bought a white belt.
    Cost: $49.60
    Yen bought a red and white polka dot dress which looks real nice. And a white lacey dress with black flowers ala bridesmaid. Need to be tailored, girl!

    Oh I wanted to thread my eyebrows before going back Malaysia for the wedding dinner but it was getting late..

    Had to go back for combined block supper and dance practice... which unfortunately im not liking very much anymore. Maybe it's because for 2 sems we worked on the same bloody choreo! I have to work on my monster face. GRR...
    Monday, March 19, 2007
    Title : The coolest wedding dinner ever!
    Time : 12:34 am

    Earworm: Shalala Lala~~Vengaboys

    Friday was like whole day travelling for me...
    730am bus from novena. reached bangsar at 1245pm. brief respite of chicken rice at home. (and then a letter from an unfilial bastard-which i shall not elaborate more) started the journey proper at 3pm. coz my dad missed the turning after picking my sis from TCPJ at 220pm then blabla not very interesting..
    kinda fun listening to mp3 with one ear with the other earplug in her ear. we were like saying how come i hear the flute more and she hear the violin more.. nvm
    finally at 630pm, we passed the penang bridge.
    dinner was at kebun nyor, the bride's house-- the house where my dad grew up in. and my cousin's hobby was an expensive nikon dSLR (i can't remember the model.. and his advice was the first thing you should know is your camera model =/) which cost a hefty rm7000++ he was like an enthusiastic paparrazi(o?) saw familiar faces of relatives but closer to my family so didnt really talk to them much. it's been ages since my singaporean cousins(more of my peers than other cousins) are together with us in the same family gathering.

    tea ceremony in kebun nyor again. the groom SY was late, but his arrival was accompanied by manic sounds of the car horn. my cousin karen's girl friends were the ones who devised 'games' to make it harder for SY to get to see her. can't really understand their rapid hokkien but i thought i caught something like 'when's your first kiss?' and SY didnt give a satisfactory answer hence his mouth got stained by lipstick.. lol.. and other questions he cannot answer his male posse kena pula! there were games to eat bananas and apples without hands also.. guy on guy action bwahaha
    and a self-made wedding agreement to 'go shopping and be ATM' for my cousin!

    tea ceremony- me and my sis were tea girls yay..
    after that not much time to shop but we went gurney plaza anyway. jeez.. cant even find a retro hairband. but bought earrings anyhoo.. a girl can never have enough =p

    and of course, the highlight of this post-- the wedding dinner.. wish i had the photos with me.
    it started fairly on time-- 830pm we tucked into food already. the invitation said 730pm. one hour delay only! impressive! there were two projectors showing collage of the married couple's childhood pics till the present, and also their garden party pics.. swoon.. so preeeetttyyy.. especially karen. my sis says she makes the perfect bride.
    there were 3 live singers, a teresa teng copycat, a pleasant voiced chinese who's quite sweet looking and the bitchy sisters dubbed 'tranny' coz i tot she looked like one.. but on closer inspection no extra protrusion at the throat if yknow what i mean.. she's not bad a singer la.. my mum was soo impressed by her...oh not forgetting the cheena versh of elton john, complete with keyboard!

    food was the usual chinese dinner fare.. don't need to elaborate.. but i didnt burst my tummy on this one. then came the long yam sengs.. and the tour around the grand ballroom (it was held at gurney hotel) with the groom's father being quite red in the face already hahah. and two of the live singers came down to the floor to sing and dance with some ppl. there was this horizontally challenged male friend of the groom (which i dubbed mad fat guy-MFG) who's really sporting and started shimmying with tranny during shalala lala.. i must admit they have rather odd selection of songs for a wedding.. like there was big spender and hot stuff.. =p
    ah i must post the pic of tranny and granny(not mine) on the blog some day. the white haired granny really liked to groove. =p also was this DOM that went on stage -and later he puked, ugh.. not on stage though.
    i think it was gloria gaynor's i will survive that got mum and dad dancing too. by then already a small group of ppl at the extra space in the ballroom.. then me and my sis were like ah heck it lets dance also.. along to that chicken little nomanomane song. OMG-- maiya hee maiya ha maiya hoo maiya haha... i can't believe i sang along to it!!!
    so funny. it was like dance floor some more with livin la vida loca and can't take my eyes off you- carlsberg song and hips don't lie. and the groom have some 'hip' moves and dirty dancing with the blushing bride (a little only la-- lol i like to exagerrate)
    wow. wedding to remember.

    -and also have to deal with relatives asking so when's your turn?
    Tuesday, March 13, 2007
    Title : Of natural surroundings
    Time : 3:56 pm

    Earworm: Cannonball~~Damien Rice

    Today I saw a group of students sitting on the grass under shady trees outside the Central Library. It looked like a class was conducted there. Ah, so poetic. (if only there was nicer weather- saw a girl in tudung fanning herself)
    I'm probably a city girl who can hardly survive without the comforts of modern technology but there's always something about nature that's so romantic.

    I remember sleeping on straw mats underneath the rambutan tree on childhood afternoons with my cousins.
    I remember me and my sister wedging ourselves between rocks in the river and feeling the rushing water gush past our bodies.
    I remember the rare snowfight in Korea with my family.
    I remember picnics by the waterfall.
    I remember feeling the wind on my face while standing on the highest deck of a ferry.
    I remember intimate moments on rocks and grassy banks.
    I remember building sandcastles on the beach.
    I remember swimming with the fishes, with my toes nibbled instead of the bread.
    I remember climbing the hill and tasting snowflakes at the top.

    I remember the beauty of nature
    Monday, March 12, 2007
    Title : Happy 21st!
    Time : 5:58 pm

    Earworm: It Ends Tonight~~All American Rejects

    Happy 21st my darling!

    Since he doesn't have a blog to describe what his fabulous girlfriend planned for him, I shall do the shameless pimping of my own hard work =p

    Went to Bugis to shop for stuff. I already made a list. For once, Im organised! Managed to get him a brown long sleeved collared shirt with stripes, a wallet from the Wallet Shop and 2 pairs of boxers from Deadfish. (translation needed lol) It's so bloody hard to find nice guys accessories and flip flops in Bugis that aren't overpriced!!! gah
    And also I can't help trying on clothes myself too... haha.. there's just something about buying stuff for other ppl that makes you want to buy for yourself too. sigh.. the selfish me talking. I left hall at 3pm, stupid bus journey took one hour!!! and planned to come back by 6pm but somehow dragged til 8pm when i left Bugis... Kino's out of Frank Herbert's Dune. Ah well, he doesn't read much non-academic or computer-related stuff anyway.

    NUS open house and rockfest.. whoo! Danced the zombie dance again to nobody in particular, then had Subway with rather awkward company, luckily Yen came to the rescue. and we headed to UCC for Rockfest. Terribly HOT weather these days! My period doesn't help with the excessive sweating. Grrr.. sweat glands are rather useless, especially those at the armpits.
    Came just as Temasek finished. Heard their drummer pulled out last minute.diao. no backup meh? Then it was KEVII which was surprisingly good actually. They had a lot of rocker energy with synchronised jumping *which i found amusing after a while* and camaderie with bandmates and interaction with the audience although response was rather lukewarm. Cmon ppl, rockfest and everyone was sitting down on stone steps! And there was also this lead singer who can hold his breath while singing smooth criminal with falsetto and all. wow.
    Sheares paled in comparison imho. They have vocals (though sometimes limited) and instrumental skills but the energy just wasnt there. Who sings 'Call Me When You're Sober' while standing still?? And who would talk cock about not being able to come up with a better name than the oh so original Sheares Band??
    Eusoff was a refreshing change from the normal with remixes of Yellow and Chasing Cars. Also, Zombie alternating with Bring Me to Life. Last but not least, a new arrangement of Wherever You Will Go with fast and slow transition.
    KRockers was a major letdown definitely. In fact, i'd go so much to say the first female singer sucked! Omg, how did she manage to get into band and not SF? Yen was commenting she was concentrating to hard on looking sexy and not singing. WTH. The male that took over was so-so.
    Dinner was at PGP cafe with much gossiping hahaha

    Had to rush around buying groceries and remaining gifts with nobody to help me carry coz everyone was busy with Open House. Wendy and LH came to clementi to have lunch but I asked them to go off first while i shopped. Didn't feel nice dragging Wendy around while I hunted for things. haha.
    Lalala so I got three bags of groceries. Bandung, yoghurt drink and Baccardi don't come light! And a bag of flip flops and Watsons tissue. How to carry cake I tell you..arms going to break! Called terence for help but he was at SP rehearsal, but offered me a ride there later.
    Actually saw Suyuen and her friend (jenna?) at the bus stop! At least someone to help me carry back Sheares... if i had known...
    at 5pm went off to clementi again on Terence's bike. First time riding a motorbike-- like scary fun! Fun coz of the wind and speed, scary... well you know me, all the morbid thoughts in my head and imagining car banging us down, turning corners at too sharp an angle, falling off the bike and getting run over... lol. My perched limbs were stiffened with all these thoughts.
    Thankfully, after getting a coffee cake from Bengawan Solo, the bus gods were pleased with me and blessed me with a 183 back hall!

    Back hall though, there was not much time to do things other than putting stuff into the fridge coz I had Sheares Production to attend at 730pm. Rushed thru dinner and bathing (snatched Pit wei's cubicle away from her- sorry!) and we didn't manage to get on the early bus. Just nearly made it at UCC> ushers strict about closing door on time la.. The play was superrrr long (sounds so singlish haha) I didn't have such high expectations actually so definitely exceeded.. and this is not a backhanded compliment. I was quite impressed. I didn't like the starting fake french accents.. and i guess the actors had to put on some form of accent instead of the normal voice while playing their roles but it's odd when you hear the accents slip off to normal voices with a slight hint of singaporean accent. Christine or Don was the best in speaking though. It was like a dram-edy, drawing many laughs from audience but having its moments of suspense too. Like a hand jerking from underneath the couch! The play got draggy though, expected it to end by 10pm but instead it finished at 11pm! How to plan his bday??? Luckily I worked on some clues during the intermission.
    We caught the last bus back to Sheares, and I was suffering from a headache and exhaustion at this point. Thanks Yen for helping me distribute the presents!

    I planned a treasure hunt for him by giving him a first clue and subsequently each item was stuck with the next clue. ie item 1 was stuck with a clue leading to item 2.
    This was how it went

    First clue: Look around your room for a suitable storage of this sweet sensation
    Tobelerone Dark Choc in his room

    >> This friend who we know for nearly 3 years has a fair complexion as delicate as this item (hint: you took an 'ugly' photo of this person)
    He called Brit, lucky the latter was smart enough to ask him what number he got lol
    It was supposed to be Chui Fen la! With her unglam hockey girls shot =p
    Tissue paper

    >> Your fave drink has the same name as this city in your neighbour's country.
    Bandung with Wendy

    >> This item can be found in the shoe cupboard of a person who borrowed your black Nike shoes.
    Mystery gift with CK

    >> Your fave milk is in the same shade of this person's fave colour
    Strawberry milk with pink loving Niths

    >> This level 6 person wakes us up for a meal suitable with this item
    Banana nut crunch cereal with Sandra

    >> This item can be found with the person who 'flips' about his decision to stay in hall
    Flip flops with Jian Hui

    >> A rose by any other name will smell just as sweet. Find this item in a popular person's room with his real name on the door.
    Famous Amos cookies with Brit

    >> This item can keep stuff like how this scandalous (or used to be) girl keeps her secrets. (hint: she's part of a happy couple now)
    HP pouch with Nga. LH couldn't figure this out hehe

    >> Ta Pao Queen. Need I say more? Food packaged in an instant!
    Koka Instant noodles with Dina the efficient ta pao queen =)

    >> This FBT shorts wearing 'auntie killer' will not have this item
    Boxers with Kang Wei-- he corrected that he wears nike shorts lol

    >> The oldest Malaysian has this item (for lack of better clue, running out of time and ideas! haha)
    Imation CD with Jason

    >> Dessert with the guy who went to work and travel in USA
    Marigold jelly with Yen Bin

    >> BBQ flavoured item in your boss' room
    BBQ flavoured Ruffles with Terence

    >> The scandalous girl everyone loves to make fun of has a steady supply of this
    Strawberry flavoured condom with Yen hahahaha... She said he was blushing when he took it from her.

    >> A MAN's clothing in a girl's room
    Long sleeved collared shirt with Amanda(who will never wear a skirt)- poor girl studying for test

    >> Celebrate with alcohol in the highest fridge
    Ruby grapefruit Baccardi in level 7 fridge

    >> Someone you love dearly holds this last item of your search
    Wallet with yours truly

    >> This item is with a dear friend by the name of gmas
    Belt with Chun leen. hahah he actually thought cl came all the way here to give.

    >> Happy Birthday!
    bring the cake to lounge

    yay. people were impressed by my planning lol. and teasing yen about condoms. ahha the things i make her put up with =p
    my coffee cake was splattered on one of the cushions coz nga threw the cushion at nith sitting next to me. poor cushion looks like its been shat on bwahaha

    After that, ck called me for biochem discussion.. haha anticlimatic.
    worked til 4am. bloody hell.

    skipped lectures today haha
    ooh found out i got 3 A+ for my dispensing test.. yayyyy!!
    Tuesday, March 06, 2007
    Title : of public speaking
    Time : 1:13 am

    I've never been great at public speaking, in fact i kinda suck at it, and the more you suck at something, the more you shy away from it, which is really a bad thing. But I try, you know, to present reasonably well during tutorial, however small the step might be, but before that let's just look at my previous forays/'attempts' into public speaking.

    As far as I can remember, my first hand at public speaking was a rather 'big-scale' one-- that is, a malay short story recital during standard 4, it was some animal story lah. I remember memorising like hell before my storytelling, and trying desperately to think of some 'action'- you know la primary school storytelling competition where the more animated you are, the more points you're likely to score. so yeah, try to make your voice more dramatic (a chore for the one who sounds bored- though maybe not so much when i was younger due to higher pitched kid voive), and i remember kids bringing props up on stage too, hats.. etc. oh ya and put on different voices for different characters. (i think i remembered that for like the first few paragraphs then forgot) Seriously, that's perhaps all I could remember of my onstage 3 minutes of fame. I remember most of walking on and offstage while trying not to trip over the snaking mike wire. Needless to say, all I got was a consolatory kilometrico pen.

    Of course, there were also instances where i volunteered answers in class, or prompted to volunteer (that sounds contradictory) but even so, i feel dumb when i experience shudders or when my heart rate goes up even after giving a correct answer. if i blurted a wrong one, then i'd feel my ears or cheeks burning slightly. gah, such biological hindrance.

    Then another time when I had to speak in front of the class was during english in Form1, the teacher (Pn Puteri i still rmb) asked us to pair up and source materials from the newspaper to illustrate a story i think.. or there were certain criterias to cutting out stuff. whatever it was, we cut out calvin from calvin and hobbes and the mask (as in jim carrey) and some clown.. something of that sort. and when it was our turn to present, i remember quite clearly, the sides of my mouth will start to twitch (i still get it now sometimes and i hate it so) and somehow i found something severely funny, or just nerves set off and i started laughing (til some drool accidentally came out-- damn embarrasing! but i don't think my classmates saw it) and laughed so hard til i had to hold my bladder. not physically/literally in front of the class of course! argh, and my friend who isn't as good in english as i was, was depending on me to guide the presentation and i think she was just looking at me dumbfoundedly. gah. i don't remember how we got thru the presentation but the whole class was probably thinking 'what's so funny?' traumatic.

    Of course, JC was the biggie when we're actually graded on public speaking- that is, oral presentation for the dreaded project work (a common topic for whining). I think the problem with me is, since i don't have the natural flair for speaking, i will commit my speech to memory by rehearsing so much, so i can concentrate more on the subtleties like intonation. blah. However, the problem with this is that I will try to follow what i've rehearsed rigidly and when i miss out something i will be like oh shit and try to remember, and i realise that i will look upwards when im trying to memorise something- which is damn ugly i know and something i hope to avoid in the future. whatever it is, i got a stupid smart alec tutor who wrote this comment in my feedback form-- 'holds on to cue card for dear life' damn it. so sarcastic for what. Ironically, my PW tutor commented I gesture too much during rehearsal. Whatever, i still got my A1.

    Now, in uni, the only constant practise for oral presentation i get is during physiology tutorial, which i don't mind doing especially since it's in front of a relatively small class, and the presentation time is quite short, like less than 5 minutes. I hoped this would improve my public speaking skills but I think I still get the panic attacks (or euphemistically, adrenaline rush) from time to time. What do i have to do lah. And I think the fear of saying the wrong answer still inhibits me from speaking up during tutorial class. I wonder why this behaviour seems ingrained in me.

    As do the tendency to procrastinate. WTH. im supposed to finish my Lipid notes and do the assessment, on top of revising theories for my sociology test on Wed!
    But i guess i just felt like writing some post that contained some writing =)