Earworm: Auf Asche~~Franz Ferdinand

I fear I'm being infected by the kiasu syndrome. It's hard not to especially in a competitive course like mine. There are just so many people better, more knowledgeable, more diligent than me that whenever I do something wrong or ask questions I panic about how stupid and careless I appear to be.
In a way, perhaps its for the better that I am at a distance from my Pharmacy peers. Except my Sheares buddies la.. When I don't regard them close to my heart, it would be easier to compete with them. But my greatest competition will still be my darling. Its inevitable that I'll compare myself to him. This reminds me of Charsau. except that i'm char and lh's sau. Then one day I just decided to let go and just focus on getting better by learning from the better. Though I get frazzled too by how stressed he is. I once asked him Dean's List or mental health. He chose the former. Then laughed. But I think he was being serious. I would willingly maintain the latter. I seem to have given up on excelling. Does this mean I'm celebrating mediocrity? I feel mediocre. It seems like doing my best is just not good enough. This is my fear from young. The chinese proverb 'Xiao Shi Liao Liao, Da Wei Bi Jia' my standard has been deteriorating, or is it that I'm placed with the cream of the crop. Whatever it is, Im stagnating while others are improving. There will always be that nagging kiasu-ism. though i prefer to regard it as pride. I don't like getting bad results. I have high expectations for myself. But i let slip and be complacent with Bs and Cs when the going got tough in JC. But there's no use beating myself over the non-A in Econs now.
These are my thoughts I need to put them into action.














What the hell am I talking about kiasu-ism? If I'm that affected, I would be mugging my ass off instead of blogging now. =)

Happiness of the day: I finished my alumni newsletter article...hope all goes down well with the editor