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    Layout: materialisti-c

    Tuesday, October 31, 2006
    Title : Of photography
    Time : 4:01 pm

    Earworm: Photograph~~Nickelback

    I finally took the time out to view the pics of my dad's trip to hwangshan, china.

    my dad looks so cute =)

    i fell in love with the stunning scenery and his photography skills at capturing what nature enfolds.

    colours and layers vanishing into the distance.

    glorious sunset

    the tree of life. branching out to different paths we might have taken, but the main trunk is the life we choose.

    this somehow gives the picture a voyeuristic view..like you're trying to catch a glimpse of something between the branches, but what there is, is just the simplicity of nature's beauty.

    Im obsessed about paths leading to places not seen.
    Reminds me of my first blogskin...and how Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken remains as one of my favourite poems.

    Im inspired! I want to attend the photocomm workshop that I missed!
    Monday, October 30, 2006
    Title : Of (excessive?)enjoyment
    Time : 6:20 pm

    Earworm: Brighter Than Sunshine~~Aqualung

    I had a rather good relaxing week. Was I enjoying myself too much? Live today, worry about tomorrow later. *shrugs carelessly* instant gratification, yeah!

    i went to watch death note last saturday. my first past midnight movie in a cinema. i know, i need to get out more right. 1.45 am show haha.now im not normally one for manga adaptations. but the premise of this sounds interesting enough. teenage vigilante who (ab)uses the death note. Whoever's name gets written in that book, he/she will die. and yeah, there's a whole bunch of rules together.

    i wonder why the death note has its name written in English on the front cover. Westernisation? It's international!
    The plot was not bad for me, I didn't see the twists coming. Oh the dark dark heart of light yagami... now im quite a sadist myself but *spoiler ahead!* i felt he really needs to be done away for killing the person who loved him. how could he??? love is not a game! but i still find him quite cute...=p better than weirdo goth L...

    KFC absolutely cant stand this joker of a death god. lol. i just found him to ridiculous to be scary
    then there was the part with the teen cookshow star attracting pervert director..that part was such an obvious set up for a sequel but it interrupted the flow of the rest of the movie a bit coz there seems to be no link and in the end she got a death note too. not in english this time! =p
    and I shouldve seen it coming there won't be any ending seeing it's a manga series after all but still left feeling unsatisfied with the non-ending.
    rating: 3/5

    had 2 suppers last week too... supper just seems like a luxury.. not coz its expensive. but coz u can afford to spend the time lining up and waiting for your food. and leisurely eat it while chatting.

    see i only drank cold chrysanthemum tea!

    guess whose hand is in this disgusting cheesy fries. as in the cheese is disgusting. its orange. viva sheares!

    this is so much better. fries with beef sauce and melted mozarella cheese at carl's jr, vivo. the pic doesnt do it justice, i know.
    earlier that day, went for VC visit to elderly's HDB in hougang. helped distribute food to last them for a week. quite meagre tho. and they mainly conversed in hokkien so i felt like a fish out of water.. i should REALLY learn.. wa si hokin lang bo kong hokin.. atrocious! but i hope we did bring some cheer to them. especially applaud block E guys for performing their hokkien number of one million dollars. and also the block A ppl for coming down to sing as well. There was a particular cute old lady who's quite hip and enjoys singing in front of the crowd. also another old uncle who looks cool with earring!
    after that it was quite a long ride back by mrt and bus back to sheares. went out to crazy elephant later as recommended by my gek1046 lecturers =p

    great band. tho im not that much fan of blues music. the lead singer had an emotive, gravelly voice and the electric guitarist is just amazing. the drummer had a cool drum solo too.. but im still fascinated with bass! he looks so cool nodding his head to the rhythm. contrast that with the frenzied headbanging of the electric guitarist.and the wa-wa pedal is called cry baby (the brand i think) i found that so cute!
    but after 2 hrs the songs sounded a bit the same =/ so we left, but not before mr freebie got postcards! =p
    we ended up at this shisha place

    my first time 'smoking'. *coughcough* literally... apple flavour..jon and ck can really be steam trains...or dragons hahaha... i dunno who's having the pics... and brit kept camwhoring. narcissism at its worst. the search for the ideal msn pic. haha.
    along clarke quay that nite can see groups of people all dressed up in costume.. apparently for zouk/MOS free entry if u go in costume.. spotted quite a few in cheongsams.. some looked skanky.. there were clowns,mimes,devil horns,sailors...and a cross dresser in tutu! augh!

    my sister's 18th bday... and i forgot to wish her at midnight! family called when i was in clarke quay..oops... =D
    gave her this pink penguin pillow (alliteration anyone?) and an orange flower hair tie. she was spoilt rotten i tell u. new laptop, new digicam, new killers album, eragon book... =)

    happy bday sis! Prettier than me le...
    Friday, October 27, 2006
    Title : Of walking advertisements
    Time : 11:51 am

    Earworm: Walk on By~~Dionne Warwick


    People all around are like walking advertisements, from the outright parading of branded items, LV, Gucci, Levis, Abercrombie, Adidas, Havaianas, Birkenstocks, even FBT shorts is a brand k...

    then there are the more subtle but nonetheless, a 'brand' of their own, i brand those as 'statement shirts'. I heart geeks, My boyfriend is cuter than yours, I only look innocent...

    then the whole trend of long chunky accessories, dangling earrings, or oversized studs nowadays

    what I mean those as walking ads too is because they are promoting the fashion they wear, they are trying to make a fashion statement albeit more towards a collective one. and shallow people like me love to look at people and what they wear. More now than before, I get influenced by the herd mentality, the more I look at certain style of fashion, the more I will like it. (except for Crocs which i will NEVER be conned into buying one) Just like the other day when I went to Bugis, the shops there are quite similar in the type of clothes they sell. It's like retro fashion, vintage wear. and I actually found myself checking out polka dots!!! Which I hated before. Im not even sure whats my personal style. But I love my feminine side, thus I don't think i will ever be able to pull of those attitude tees. And I always succumb to looking at dresses and shawls though their usage is quite low.. but they're so lovely....

    I nearly wanted to buy this flowery tube dress, only thing holding me back is its 59 bucks..tho thats quite cheap still for a dress but i wasnt willing to part with so much money at one shot =) and the nagging feeling whether its too flowery.

    so i settled for this instead (a steal at $27! tho cutting at the bust not as nice...)

    I had a willing model =)

    and I dunno what point im trying to make in this post anymore so I shall shut up

    p.s. (cant shut myself up, and this had nothing to do with the ads part but just an observation on hari raya here, since i bought the dress on that day. I dunno why the malay families here dress in same colour combination..is it to bring a closer sense of familial ties? or just the practical reason of saving cloth. Malays back home don't come all decked in green/blue/silver)

    p.p.s. this is perhaps the first ever hari raya that I didnt hear the selamat hari raya song

    Monday, October 23, 2006
    Title : Of running
    Time : 10:42 pm

    Earworm: Smile~~Lily Allen

    Ok not running. but it sounds more glamourous than jogging =)

    Bouncing feet
    Breezing by
    Sceneries of the night
    Mounting slopes
    Dripping sweat
    Catching breath
    Leaden weight
    Constricting chest
    Stamina test
    Pounding steps
    Flushing red
    Rushing back
    Adrenaline rush
    Title : Of rewards
    Time : 7:52 pm

    Earworm: I Write Sins Not Tragedies~~Panic! at the Disco

    Yay... yet another test has finished! Tho adeline said still finals to go =/ Ok whatever... tonight Im gonna so reward myself with a movie! There's just so many things i wanna do... like update my bloggie..hehe... and go JOGGING.. cant use the haze as an excuse anymore, since it rained.. yes rain rain come again, go away another day. wash the haze away..
    and i wanna go shopping too.. and shop for my sister's present maybe.. and there's so many movies to watch too.. happy rambling...
    tomorrow is Hari Raya Puasa.. translates into HOLIDAY...echo: Celebrate!

    pharmacy have yet another outing that I wont be joining.. I think im just lazy to get out of my comfort zone to know these ppl.. i know they're not so willing to break off from their ready made cliques either. so its a no win situation. whats more lh and i saw a girl who might or might not be cheating for CA today. there's no evidence so we don't know for sure. sure seems like it. talking on the phone while writing on a piece of paper. if it looks like what it appears to be, its despicable. do u have to stoop til so low. bloody cheat. die everyone die la. i hope u get the questions and still run out of time to do the rest. there's such a thing as karma.
    there goes my happy post.
    [edit at 1.14am, 25th Oct actually i found out it REALLY wasnt what it appeared to be.Turned out she was just calling up sponsors and jotting down contact numbers. I felt so ashamed. For jumping into baseless conclusions. This was one of the things i knew i should not have done, from as long ago as primary school moral lessons. i can't remember whats the name of the moral value though. Why do I have to let petty things ruin the bigger picture. Or perhaps it wasnt petty when I had the wrong suspicions. Sigh. I hope to be a better judge of character in future.]

    like wanna do so many things but sleepy.. nap before jogging maybe... must JOG.. ck laughing when i mentioned it. yeah la. go date jon can.
    happy again. sleep is beautiful
    Sunday, October 22, 2006
    Title : Of the mundane
    Time : 8:16 pm

    Earworm: Lola~~The Kinks (I just love this song!)

    Let's just review how my week went.
    Monday: Too mundane to remember

    Tuesday: Point your toes and do pirouettes til you're giddy. I don't know whether I prefer to look like a duck trying to be a swan during modern jazz/contemporary dance or to bop around like a seal during hiphop. whatever it is, by the end of the series of dance in december I WILL be a super funky dancer bwahaha

    Wednesday: Damn you Physical Pharm lab demos. Was an hour late for GEM and Elvis has left the building. So Im left with the Beatles instead. (I'm starting to like them too... shhh.. my parents would so laugh)

    Thursday: I love anatomy pracs where I get to play with dead bodies..muahaha... ok respect the cadavers la.. Prof Bay is just so cute and funny =p He showed us this pic of a penis with pus coming out due to urinary tract infection and then paused, saying "are you all above 21?" to a resounding 'no'. Then his response was "oh no! cover your eyes...but leave a gap so u can see ok?" priceless.
    Missed half of SH band's performance. Came in while they were finishing That Thing You Do. Nic playing bass look so broodingly cool.. i want to be a bass player. hmm.. but don't think i'll look cool. Otherwise, good stuff. Somehow liked the more piano based song.... im starting to get classical also...
    Mid autumn festival with Kent Ridge later.. and the HOD of pharm is their RF 0_O! She did ask us to take it easy and take at least once a week to destress.. go watch a movie or something.. right.. if only we had the time.. i wanna watch MOVIES!!!! (and desperate housewives) Death Note, the Departed, the Prestige... Raya holiday i must drag some people out.. or let myself be willingly dragged.
    And I want to go to Crazy Elephant to chill out to Jazz music!
    oh getting ahead of myself.. impending CA still
    Anyway, nice ice cream mooncake tho we just segregated ourselves.

    Friday: Slacked whole day off.. taking prof chan's advice too literally.. kept consoling myself that I need to chill then do crosswords instead of studying..
    choir performed at night. I will follow him ala sister act and Somewhere Over the Rainbow.. lovely..I heart Arts Fest

    Saturday: GEM project meeting for 3 hrs felt like we didnt get much done.. canteen not open coz happy diwali to hindus.. starved til i went back at 3pm and saw Jon who generously gave me some pandan mooncake. Slept til dinnertime. went out to PGP and had to put up with Edwin no2 bitchy type person.

    Sunday: Woke at noon. gah. Had a horrid dream that LH died of heart attack. Maybe my mind exaggerating that he's stressing too much.. Lunch at McD coz delivery would just take one freaking hour. Jon dished gossip that YC got attached. Oooo...haha and i KPC go send her congratulatory SMS. Yep and now Im blogging instead of doing work again.. this sounds familiar..like someone who posts in my cbox frequently =)
    Friday, October 20, 2006
    Title : Of kiasu-ism
    Time : 4:45 pm

    Earworm: Auf Asche~~Franz Ferdinand

    I fear I'm being infected by the kiasu syndrome. It's hard not to especially in a competitive course like mine. There are just so many people better, more knowledgeable, more diligent than me that whenever I do something wrong or ask questions I panic about how stupid and careless I appear to be.
    In a way, perhaps its for the better that I am at a distance from my Pharmacy peers. Except my Sheares buddies la.. When I don't regard them close to my heart, it would be easier to compete with them. But my greatest competition will still be my darling. Its inevitable that I'll compare myself to him. This reminds me of Charsau. except that i'm char and lh's sau. Then one day I just decided to let go and just focus on getting better by learning from the better. Though I get frazzled too by how stressed he is. I once asked him Dean's List or mental health. He chose the former. Then laughed. But I think he was being serious. I would willingly maintain the latter. I seem to have given up on excelling. Does this mean I'm celebrating mediocrity? I feel mediocre. It seems like doing my best is just not good enough. This is my fear from young. The chinese proverb 'Xiao Shi Liao Liao, Da Wei Bi Jia' my standard has been deteriorating, or is it that I'm placed with the cream of the crop. Whatever it is, Im stagnating while others are improving. There will always be that nagging kiasu-ism. though i prefer to regard it as pride. I don't like getting bad results. I have high expectations for myself. But i let slip and be complacent with Bs and Cs when the going got tough in JC. But there's no use beating myself over the non-A in Econs now.
    These are my thoughts I need to put them into action.

    What the hell am I talking about kiasu-ism? If I'm that affected, I would be mugging my ass off instead of blogging now. =)

    Happiness of the day: I finished my alumni newsletter article...hope all goes down well with the editor
    Friday, October 13, 2006
    Title : Of initiating changes
    Time : 8:53 pm

    Earworm: some Sergei Rachmaninoff piece I don't know the title of..

    I have a simple wish---just to be happier...just to have a half full glass outlook on life...and I realise that nobody else can do it for me save I start initiating changes from within.

    I need to stop caring so much about others' perception about me and just be myself, though I strive to be a better one.
    I need to look into myself and discover who is really inside.
    I need to set small goals for myself--like JOGGING--people have said i put on weight! No, thats not contradicting my first goal, instead, I want to lose weight for myself. And I will be happier if I find the discipline to stick to it. *Yeah we'll see what I'll think after panting through hilly slopes of the campus.*--*kicks self--not being the optimist!*
    I need to pamper myself.
    I need to find happiness in things I normally take for granted. Hence I shall list them here, every post, to remind myself from now on that there's always the silver lining, no matter how grey and blurred my vision is.

    happiness of the day: nice lunch at biz canteen =) lh waited for me to have dinner together =)
    Monday, October 09, 2006
    Title : Of simple indulgence
    Time : 8:02 pm

    Earworm: When Morning Comes~~Dishwalla

    My Thursday was only slightly marred by the bell curve shown by PPDA lecturer. And his not so gentle reminder about another impending CA on 23 Oct AND dropped the expected bomb that finals is next month!!!
    But nonetheless, I was still determined to enjoy my weekend like it's the last that I can relax =p Especially since i finished 2 CAs and have Friday off... I'm gonna pamper myself...nothing lavish, no indulgent shopping spree at Orchard, no fancy dinners in the city...just bargain hunting with yen at central forum then watching POTC2 with LH at night and crashing NTU for dinner and sleepover...I'm easily satisfied...=) so nice to catch up with everyone again...though I felt kinda bad for missing out KY...sorry if u ever read this! Reached NTU at 8pm and heard the chirping of the crickets...jungle escape! Could see the hazy skies in the faint yellowish light emanated by the street lamps... PSI 140...siao! Dinner was unlike NUS subsidised prices...Fung and SW are still as loud and a laugh a minute as ever.. YC looked proportionately slimmer but ppl say i put on weight around the face area...*pouts* look even more piggier...went around visiting rooms.. Fung's room looked quite spacious with a borrowed Carems(sp?) board in the middle..quite cozy...YC's hall have sooo many angmohs--having beer party verging on orgy(Brit's filthy mind) so funny when she told about the French(?) exchange student who walks around in a bikini...chubby flesh hanging...Confidence wei...lol... YH's room was artsy...CL camwhored with her shiny sequin studded belt, which she wasn't very happy with...hahaha... He's still as full of air as ever..which he has no qualms about expelling--he with the aptly named blog...=p Debbie's room with aircon..so comfortable...but the fan dirty ya... haha.. and she brought back with her this super kawaii nintendo..did i hear wrongly that she said it was worth as much as potato chips in Japan??? Bunked with Yen Roo since Jol unexpectedly took off home o_O but they're room mates anyway... so one bed for me! Didn't chat that long with her since my eyelids were threatening to shut already... her floor's bathroom has urinals?!!! busy girl had to leave early for work in the morning... and knowing teenagers/bidecaders don't wake up that early I guess I had to go back too... Especially after waking YC up but she needed extra sleep...hehe... already ate into their mugging time... Packed lunch back for my Sheares gang from the Prata Shop... family called at night and I wished dad a safe trip to China (the traveling bug has bitten!) and watched all 6 episodes of Desperate Housewives at one shot...

    "And so we give in to temptation, all the while knowing come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences"-Mary Alice Young

    yes i woke up late the next morning. but made it to lecture on time.. suffering from headache and feverish now though... But DH was still lovely! and made me smile and laugh and feel sad for the strings left untied.. can't wait for season 3 to be downloaded..but for now.. i shall stay away from temptation =)
    Tuesday, October 03, 2006
    Title : Of work and procrastination
    Time : 8:44 pm

    Earworm: Clarity~~John Mayer

    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........

    But having said that, I *did* finish reading once through my PY1105, hence rewarding myself with slacking though I should really try to understand PR1102. Oh think I screwed up my PR1101 test also today. Heck, I've never seen a silver mirror before. I got a greyish silverish solution so I thought that was the goddamn positive result la. Didn't help that Schiff's test was negative. So i pandai-pandai say it's aromatic aldehyde. -rant over- let's not dwell on trivial stuff.
    It's ironic that the song that I'm listening to is titled so, because recently I've been struggling to find my passion in life. I just feel like I'm this cold, passionless, aimless, hollow person. And Im getting weaker and more depressed when I reflect on the years I've spent living (or not) and I wonder what are the achievements that Im proud of. I falter too quickly at setbacks. I have to learn to pick myself up better. I don't think enough. That's why I had to settle for a gradeless GEK1046. I try to grasp at whatever strength I have. My emotions are based on shallowness. Not too long ago, I wanted to do drug design and development. But where's the drive to go further, to read wider, to do more research? Everything is just neutral to me. There's nothing really that I'm interested, truly committed, willing to give my all for. I don't even know what I want in life. I don't know myself well. I don't think anyone else does either. I'm one messed up jumble of nothingness.
    Sunday, October 01, 2006
    Title : Of partially solved dilemmas
    Time : 12:54 am

    Earworm: I Can't Read You~~Daniel Bedingfield

    "The good things of life are produced by learning with hard work; the bad are reaped of their own accord, without hard work." -Democritus

    For the lazy boned like me, there's the option of S/U-- to exempt your module from being graded and calculated into your CAP.

    There. I've done it.